


Soulmates, am I right?

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [129]
Category: South Park
Genre: Absolute Trash, Crack, Crack soulmate AU, M/M, Not so subtle lime scenes, Short & Shit, Soulmate AU, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Swearing, for absolutely no reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 04:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14584668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Kyle and Eric didn’t want to be soulmates.BUT THEY WERE.





	Soulmates, am I right?

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re here from the Kyman tag, I’m sorry. 
> 
> If you’re just here, the tags should have warned you otherwise tbh.
> 
> This is absolute trash, very cracky and doesn’t have a plot.
> 
> It might make you laugh?
> 
> Idk.

Every twelve years, a grand firework display was held at the palace in the hopes of finding the prince’s soulmate. No one had ever met the mysterious ruler-to-be, but everyone in the kingdom would flock to the palace to watch the show and fantasise about being _the one_.

No one expected the prince’s soulmate to be... who he was.

Kyle hadn’t even wanted to go to the stupid fireworks display. He was the son of a visiting dignitary from the nearby Drow Elf community, and found fireworks to be extremely aggravating. The fact that his head was already throbbing from the lack of nature within the capital city’s walls most certainly did not make the show any more appealing. 

Eric hadn’t even wanted to go to the stupid fireworks display either, despite it being literally in his back yard. He never cared for soulmates. It was a stupid concept, one he never thought would apply to him. Unfortunately (or, as he soon came to realise, very fortunately) it did.

The fireworks were magically formed to reveal the soulmate of whoever had been blessed by their creator while making them, which made no sense but this is a crackfic so whatever. When the soulmate had been found, their ass would glow bright purple and their eyes would turn to the same colour as their one true love’s before returning to what they were before.

So when the first firework went off and Kyle’s ass suddenly started glowing in a violent indigo, he knew that he was royally fucked.

Literally.

Once the soulmates had been found, they were allowed to meet. But Kyle didn’t want to meet Eric. And Eric didn’t want to meet him.

So their parents forced them to.

This led to both boys having a full on fist fight in the lounge of Eric’s palace within three minutes of meeting each other, asses still burning magenta while fists flew and sexual tension increased. Eventually everyone else just slowly backed out of the room as their energy filled the entire space.

It took four hours for them to burn themselves out, in which they had twelve fist fights, sixteen verbal fights and two very awkward yet somehow passionate rounds of hate sex. The four hour period ended after one such round, leaving them lying in the centre of the room with their asses glowing dull lilac and a substance this is rated too low to name splattered across the carpet around them. 

Soulmates, am I right?

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I keep making these trashy crackfics?
> 
> ~~Because I love them and don’t write enough smut~~
> 
> Prompt- Soulmate AU but on crack.
> 
> Original Number- 329.


End file.
